


Mothers Be Good to Your Daughters

by Ahelpfulpeach



Series: She-Ra Canon Universe Stories [7]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Catra is trying but she's got growing to do, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV Catra (She-Ra), Past Abuse, Post-Canon, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, emotional growing pains, fair warning Catra is really nasty to glimmer and to herself, love me some narrative parallels, self harm by way of getting yourself beat up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24459520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahelpfulpeach/pseuds/Ahelpfulpeach
Summary: Catra tried to avoid a conflict, got away from everyone. But then Glimmer found her and the chance to punish herself was too tempting.
Relationships: Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: She-Ra Canon Universe Stories [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763977
Comments: 34
Kudos: 342





	Mothers Be Good to Your Daughters

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read the tags, fair warning: This fic is basically Catra self-harming by way of somewhat purposely trying to ruin her own happiness and getting beat up. There's a more or less happy, or at least hopeful ending, but it's a hell of a ride getting there.
> 
> For anyone keeping track of the timeline for this series, this one takes place about a month post finale.

Goddammit, she just couldn’t _take it_ anymore. Not the sound of the crowd, not the polite ‘excuse me’s and ‘behind you’s. Not Adora—She-Ra’s piercing blue gaze as she asked for the third time that day if she was ok. No, she fucking wasn’t. Catra was overwhelmed and tired and uncomfortable and about ready to claw up the next person or object in her way. So she left, calling some excuse to Adora before running off. She didn’t even stick around to hear her reply.

On top of one of the cliffs overlooking the palace, Catra collapsed. The climb up had helped with the build up of anxious energy, though not so much with the thoughts. Everyone here was too _nice,_ and frighteningly genuine and sure, she could deal with that from a few people at a time, but a whole city? When was the pin going to drop? Surely they knew who she was, what she’d done. When would they—

A familiar sound jolted her from her thoughts.

“Sparkles?” Catra turned, raising an eyebrow.

“There you are!”

“Uh. Yeah. Here I am.” Catra frowned. Why the hell would Glimmer seek her out? Sure, they were friends or whatever, she guessed, but still, it was weird.

“Something… wrong?” Catra’s heart caught in her throat, “Adora? Did something happen to her?” That was the only thing important enough for Glimmer to come find her, right?

“What? No! She’s fine. I just was looking for you, and Adora said you’d gone to talk with Perfuma, but then when I saw Scorpia, she said she wasn’t even here today and-” Catra started to tune her out. Cool. She went hunting her down, but if Adora was fine, things could wait. At least until she could people again.

“Then why are you here?” Apparently she interrupted, going by Glimmer’s glare. Whoops.

“Why are _you_? There’s stuff that needs to get done, Catra. I,” Glimmer paused, visibly trying to calm herself, “I get that you have sh—stuff. To talk about with Perfuma. That’s fine. And that you want time with Adora, you guys are catching up on a lot of lost time. But you can’t just keep running off for so long! We need to get this construction done and we need everyone on hand. And that includes you.”

Catra groaned, getting to her feet, popping her shoulders and neck. Cool. This was happening.

“Why? I get that it’s gotta get done eventually but,” she gestured at the castle grounds and city below, “The most important stuff is usable. People have places to sleep, stuff to eat, most of the tech is back online… We can slow down.”

“The quicker we get things back to _normal_ , not just functional, the quicker this will all be over,” Glimmer snapped.

“Yeah, and the quicker everyone’s gonna keel over or desert,” Catra stalked closer, using the little bit of height advantage she had, her voice lowering to a growl. She hadn’t meant for it to escalate, but she certainly wasn’t going to back down now.

“Everyone else is working just fine!”

Catra laughed, shaking her head, “Yeah, right. Even with She-Ra, Adora can barely stand up in the morning, she’s so sore and exhausted. Haven’t even seen Arrow Boy in days. Hell, even you-” _look like I did, back in the Horde, before we were captured,_ “look like you’ll topple over in a stiff breeze. And I am working, _princess_. I’ve been working my ass off to rebuild your stupid palace so you can have your nice, fancy life back to normal again.”

“I’m not the only one who lives here! Lots of people lost their homes, Catra. I want them to be happy and comfortable, not just out from the rain.”

Catra snarled, poking a finger into Glimmer’s chest, “Take it from someone who’s been in charge of more people, longer, more successfully than you have. You keep these 24/7 working hours going much longer, you’re gonna have bigger issues than a few collapsed buildings.” Alright, maybe she hadn’t been so successful when she learned that, but Glimmer didn’t have to know.

She should have known Glimmer would take it as a challenge. Maybe she wanted her to. Maybe she was itching to fight _someone_ , but couldn’t do it when everyone had been so tooth-achingly sweet. Couldn’t bear to hurt Adora, or disappoint her. But she saw shades of that same anger in Glimmer, and _gods_ it was satisfying to pull it out. Like picking a scab.

Glimmer’s expression darkened, hands balling into fists, “Forgive me for trying to undo what _you caused_ ,” she hissed, meeting Catra’s stare, “Your stupid portal signaled Prime, took my _mom_ who could have actually done something to help defeat him!”

Catra grinned through the sting of her words. Finally. Someone said it. Someone finally put the blame on her shoulders, where it belonged. The ache was wonderfully familiar.

“And your weapon brought us right to him,” she practically purred, slinking around the princess. The _queen_. Catra pushed down the bile rising in her throat. She knew she shouldn’t. She shouldn’t have even gone down this line. Glimmer was her ally… her friend even. That delicate, soft part of her Adora and Perfuma and Scorpia and Bow and… and even Glimmer had been working so hard to nurture felt sick, guilty, fighting against every word.

But the part that had been taught—that _knew_ she deserved punishment—reveled in it.

“I wasn’t on your side then; I took out an enemy. But _you_. You _betrayed_ them. Adora, Bow. The other princesses.” Catra hated the tone of her own voice, how pleased she sounded. Detested the sick pleasure that Glimmer’s shocked expression brought, the tears welling in those iridescent eyes.

“You’re just as despicable as me, and you don’t even have a reason.”

 _Loved_ the justification for her self loathing, and the feeling of Glimmer’s fist connecting with her body. Finally, she got the punishment she deserved.

Catra hardly fought back, only trading blows to goad on her opponent, hardly even touching her. A torn sleeve here, a shove there, and combined with her words, it was enough. She could feel the twisted smile on her face, now streaked with tears. She’d won. Now she’d lose everything she knew deep down she never could have kept. Better now than down the line, when she got used to it. When she maybe started to believe Adora and the others.

“Why. Won’t. You. Fight. Back?!” Glimmer gasped, fingers digging into Catra’s shoulders, shaking her. Catra just gave her a weak grin. What more was left to say? Besides, the guilt she felt was more blindingly painful than she’d imagined. She’d really almost had something good here.

She lifted a hand to Glimmer’s cheek, swiping a tear away before she was swatted off.

“You suffered enough,” Catra said simply. She felt light, almost empty, like when she’d been in the hive mind. It nearly made her gag.

“And you haven’t?” Stunned by Glimmer’s disbelief, she stared into her eyes for just a moment. The fury was still there, but so was enough confusion, enough _pity_ to make her stomach lurch. No no no no nonononononono. She swallowed hard, fighting that sardonic grin back into place, even as tears kept streaming down her face.

“Not enough time in the world for that.”

Glimmer shook her head, pulling back so Catra had to support her own weight. Her legs gave out, leaving her half sitting, half laying on the ground, looking up at Glimmer. Shit. _Glimmer_. Catra’s head bowed, retching. Fuck. _Fuck._

Hands were on her, but she couldn’t shake them off. She kept heaving, even with nothing coming up. Dry, wretched sobs wracked her body. The perverse pleasure was gone, leaving her only with the realization that she’d ruined everything. Again.

The arms that held her were strong, but soft. Not like the toned muscle she was used to. The strangeness of it made her want to claw free, but she could barely move, her whole body shaking like a leaf.

“Stop,” Catra croaked, so, so weak. She couldn’t do this. Not this stupid fucking compassion and kindness. She could never deserve it. Her whole life, she’d never deserved it, never earned it. Was never good enough.

“They’re _gone_ Catra,” Glimmer whispered, “I wish my mom wasn’t. I wish I could have proven to her I was calm and rational and a good leader and I wasn’t reckless and she could trust me. Even if that wasn’t always true.”

Glimmer giggled, almost deliriously, “And I wish you could kick Shadow Weaver’s ass. For everything she did to you and said to you.”

Glimmer paused, her words hanging in the air uncertainly. Catra leaned against her, nearly falling Glimmer shifted. But then they were back to back and for just a second Catra felt like she could breathe again.

“I don’t know what she did to you guys… Adora never elaborated,” Glimmer finally continued once they’d settled against each other, “And I know for all my fear of disappointing her, my issues with my mom aren’t—weren’t the same. I don’t get it all and I never will. But Catra. She was wrong about you. You fucked up. And so did I. But. We’re worth something more than our mistakes or even what we do to fix them.” Hesitantly, Glimmer reached back, placing a hand over Catra’s. It burned, but Catra didn’t pull away.

“We’re worth something to our friends. And… we can’t keep doing this shit to ourselves or they’ll start to pay the price.”

“By punishing ourselves, we only hurt those around us,” Catra mumbled. Glimmer turned, the look on her face so comically surprised Catra had to laugh.

“Perfuma,” she explained. Then Catra took a deep breath, steeling herself as she faced away again. She still felt sick, but what else could she do? She could hardly take back what she’d said.

“I’m sorry.” It was too little and Catra knew it. It would always be too little.

“I know. … I forgive you,” Glimmer’s voice was slow, measured.

“ _Why?_ ” Catra couldn’t hide her disbelief.

She could feel the shrug against her back, “You’re my friend. And you’re trying. It’d be kinda fucked up if I gave up on you after one, admittedly rather drawn out, mistake. Plus,” a laugh crept into her voice, “I kinda beat you to a pulp, and I feel bad.”

Catra pushed the relief, the little rush of warmth aside. Those were feelings for future Catra to deal with. Instead she elbowed the woman behind her, echoing her laugh, “Only because I let you.”

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

They fell silent. It was unnervingly comfortable, sitting there with Glimmer. Catra nearly fell over when her wonderfully soft new backrest stood a few minutes later.

“I should get back. I’ve already been gone for-”

“Wait, Glimmer,” Catra interrupted, spinning to face her, “I meant it earlier. About the work stuff I mean. Not the other stuff. Adora and I talked about it and she’s worried. Uh. We both are. You’re working too hard and you’re gonna collapse. Believe me. I’ve been there.” Well. She hadn’t really meant to be _that_ open, but whatever. Call it an attempt at making amends.

Glimmer hesitated, her hands flickering with the purple glow of her magic.

“I… I just want to get it done. Get this whole stupid thing behind us so we can… move on.”

Suddenly, it clicked.

“The space trip.”

Glimmer blushed, nodding, “It sounded so great, getting away from all this and exploring… I hadn’t gotten to do that much since… since I became queen. Too much to do here. But with my Dad back, I thought maybe… But I couldn’t just leave, not after we saw what had happened here.” Glimmer ran a hand through her hair, and Catra was certain she saw glitter fall onto her shoulders and the ground.

Well, she had to say something.

Catra coughed, unable to even look at the other woman, “I, uh. I never really got to know her. But. From what Adora told me. I think your mom would be, uh. Proud. That you’re helping your city and everything. But uh. Like I said. Your friends are worried. So. You know. Balance that shit.” That’d do.

Glimmer’s laughter let Catra know she at least made some positive impact. Maybe she just amused her but, whatever. It was something. Oh. And now she was being hugged. Cool. Great.

“You are a mess. But thanks. Um,” Glimmer stepped back, glancing over the edge of the cliff, “You don’t have to go back to the construction site yet if you’re not ready, but… want a ride down?”

“Oh my god, yes. My arms are fucking killing me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Daughters" by John Mayer  
> These two are fascinating, complex characters with healing and growing to do. I feel like Glimmer's mom issues stem more from her own insecurity and later, her grief, than anything else; we can see Angella cared deeply for her and seemed to do her best, despite her worries. But Glimmer also seems convinced that she has to prove herself to Angella, similarly to how Catra tries and fails over and over to prove herself to Shadow Weaver, who she literally could never have been good enough for. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, this kinda came outta no where into my head this morning. 
> 
> Also this is the first one I've posted that doesn't have Catradora as the main focus so that's fun.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy! If you're on there, I'm also very active on Tumblr @ahelpfulpeach.
> 
> Assuming I post the story I think I am gonna post next, the next thing up will be MUCH happier.


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